No miracles here - making a difference takes time.

A lot of parents tell me they would like to be able to communicate better with their children’s mother or father. They’d like to think something could happen miraculously to make a difference. Unfortunately, the difficulties they experience have developed over years and result from long-running patterns of behaviour and mistrust. They find it difficult to acknowledge how they have both played a part in that and how they both need to change to make the differences that will improve their children’s lives and futures.

It is tragic that whilst parents may be prepared to spend thousands of pounds fighting each other through the courts, very few are prepared to put in the time and effort that are necessary to address the underlying causes that fuel their conflict and arguments.

Give parental commitment in time, effort and money, family mediators could transform the lives of children and their parents. There are no quick fixes, and even after making difficult and positive changes parents will from time to time find themselves reverting to their past destructive patterns of behaviour. When things go wrong they need to be willing to come back and learn again how to avoid the arguments and misunderstandings that damage their relationships with their children. Making a difference takes time, effort, commitment and the humility to each acknowledge some of the fault.

For more information visit www.familymediator.org.uk or call Cheltenham Mediation Services on 01242 220601.

photo credit: Leonard John Matthews via photopin cc